My Experience

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My Experience

Post  Ancient Defector on 31/10/10, 04:00 pm

I too stumbled across this site some months back. I refrained from posting as it appeared that it had become inactive after an initial flurry from former members and because of the time it would take to create an accurate version of my experience.

For me, my experience at SCC has had longstanding and serious impacts. I left SCC many years ago after a 2 year very hard core tour of duty. I arrived on their doorstep freshly born anew and soaked up all that was taught like a sponge. Initially it was an awesome experience, complete with some very precious and undeniable encounters with the risen Jesus. However, slowly and unintentionally my experience turned frighteningly negative. Toward the end of my time at SCC, I was beset by an ever increasing feeling that I could never do enough or be good enough to merit God’s acceptance. I did reach out for help to the leadership and staff. However, I was basically told that they could not relate to my issue and wondered what the problem was given my impeccable record both inside and outside the church. All appeared right from the outside. Looking back I believe that however unhelpful the advice was, it was given more out of ignorance than malice. I think the guy dispensing advice was just as lost as I was in the religious system despite the lofty position within the church (He is now deceased, and I have wondered whether he ever experienced a measure of health in his beliefs as he continued in a vocational ministry capacity until he passed). What followed for me was what I can now honestly call a full on nervous breakdown, several years of wandering, addiction, and in the past decade (thank God) sobriety, recovery, and a renewed albeit imperfect relationship with God. For much of the past decade, giving and service in a local body have been re-established after many years of absence. For years, I would have though this impossible.

I don’t blame SCC for all that happened to me. Looking back I can see how my own immaturity and lack of life experience contributed to my demise. However, I have no doubt that SCC propagated a form of toxic and abusive spirituality (heavily performance based theology with over the top submission to the pastor). The leaders either didn’t have a clue or didn’t care (likely the former) how devastating their brand of beliefs was on sincere people who were just trying to live honourably before their Creator. I consider myself supremely fortunate, that although I spend years wounded and unproductive, I did not lose my faith.

Last edited by Ancient Defector on 31/10/10, 04:07 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : typo)

Ancient Defector

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