Feelings of Disrespect

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Feelings of Disrespect Empty Feelings of Disrespect

Post  FreedMan on 02/03/10, 10:43 pm

When I was a member of SCC - referring to your "feelings" was akin to denying the deity of Jesus - well almost. If you've been there, you'll recognise statements like "well we don't go by our feelings now do we?" or "those are just feelings - they're not real" and even "those are just what you're feeling, the truth is what I'm telling you". I've been a Christian for a long time and certainly have learned that you can't rely solely on your "feelings" or emotions for direction, guidance or even accuracy - they're just too, well...emotional. I have also learned that we are multifaceted beings made up of many interdependent parts that God put together to create us. He saw fit to include emotions or feelings - whatever you want to call them - as part of who we are as humans - created in His likeness.

I've come to realize that my emotions are like an early warning system.
A person does well to heed the "feeling" of unease or "fear" when entering into a dark alley in a strange city or take note of the "sense" that there's something odd about this person that you're talking to - often these feelings are our first and sometimes only warning of imminent danger. Of course the Holy Spirit can (and does) prompt you and will direct you specifically - but I believe that He will also use your feelings - if we're listening.

I've been reflecting on this since leaving SCC and have realized that by telling people to ignore their feelings - the leaders at SCC were in essence disabling people's early warning systems. They tell people to distrust what God created in them and to replace it with the words of the leaders. Thereby creating the opportunity for the leaders to spoon feed the congregation the doctrine of the house, some of which is truth - most of which is opinion.

If it seems "harsh" - it's not - it's really passionate expression. If it seems "disrespectful" - it's not - it's the uncompromised truth. If it sounds like(a leader is) "mocking" - it's not , it's speaking the truth. If it "offends you" - well you're just listening to your emotions - you can choose to not be offended.

I sat in a pew and heard these things over and over and over, so much so that I actually created a page in the back of my notebook - yes the book that we all used to studiously take notes, message after message after message - titled "Ways that I feel disrespected". Here's a few things I jotted down - perhaps you can relate:

- continuously being told that you're not giving your best in praise, worship, shout -( hmmm isn't that an emotional response?)
- you're holding back - there's a sense of heaviness or lethargy on the people tonight
- that we're just seeking pleasure with our time, money, attention
- if left to ourselves we'll turn away from God in favour of pursuing our own selfish desires
- that we're inadequate & that's why "we" as a body (church) are not seeing the results
that "we" (leaders) desire because "we" as people are not pressing in and giving it all
- it's always the "man" (read congregation) not the plan that fails - because God gave the plan to
pastor so it can't be wrong
- there's very few thinkers among us
- the sheep can't think on their own - they need the shepherd to tell them where to go
- the sheep can't recognise a wolf - only pastor is "gifted" to do that
- if you even think about missing a church service you're a mocker or scoffer

I could go on and on.......so much abuse....so little space.

I'm not making light of a serious & harmful topic - I've just learned to not take myself so seriously since leaving scc. In fact I'm actually enjoying the return of my emotions!!

Can anyone else relate to these feelings of disrespect? It would be interesting (perhaps even therapeutic) to hear your perspective. I'm pretty confident that you're not alone in your feelings.

Last edited by FreedMan on 03/03/10, 10:48 pm; edited 6 times in total (Reason for editing : spelling)

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