In the beginning...(for me at Christian Centre)

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In the beginning...(for me at Christian Centre) Empty In the beginning...(for me at Christian Centre)

Post  4HimAndHis on 09/03/10, 02:11 am

To write or not to write?

I don't consider myself the most competent at communicating with the written word, but upon deciding to write I know I will be lengthy and not likely conclude tonight. My husband and I were at SCC many years and though some might consider some of what I decide to include redundant, especially to long-time fellow-attenders, maybe it will be helpful for others considering attending SCC or a place like it, or for those trying to understand us, or considering leaving themselves....I pray my/our hearts will be heard and known. This is written from my heart. There will be room for the following to be discredited because some of it will just be my perception or based on my feelings, and SCC does not allow for those things alone to hold much merit. His Word is His Word, and truth is truth. I won't likely be quoting a ton of it, or quoting SCC leadership tons either. That was never a strength, but to grasp the principle of either and live it out to the best of my ablility - I did that to my/our detriment! Regardless, I will write. Our feelings and perceptions do matter. They matter to Him. He created us as three part beings - the soul and physical parts do matter too. As with so many of us, I believe we have been misjudged and misunderstood. I desire for our hearts to be heard and understood, but more so, for the TRUTH to be known, so that there indeed can and will be freedom. Whether this is the time, place, or avenue, only time will tell. I want to help and love people. If this will help even one, on the inside or out, I will consider it having been worth the time and effort to write.

No place is perfect, but we surely thought that SCC was the closest thing to it! When first attending 25 years ago, I was intrigued that what was being taught could possibly be true...healing for all, prosperity if you give, children that would follow Him all the days of their lives if we trained them up in His way, excellence in ministry...Could it be!? I'd heard nothing like it in the 4 years prior as a young Christian. The leadership was so dynamic, charismatic, confident and convincing. The Word was the foundation! Jesus was Lord! The Holy Spirit was powerful! The people were pumped and ready to much much for the sake of Christ. Who would NOT want to be apart of all that!? I wanted it all so I could be it all for Him!

It was great!! There was much to sink our teeth into! SO much to learn! SO much to do in so many different areas. The impression I/we were given was that if we do this, or be this way, etc., we would be the ultimate Christians. I, along with so many wanted (and still do) this! We poured ourselves into becoming all we could be - heart, soul, mind, body and spirit. We sacrificed everything. Our time, our families and friends who were not tied into SCC, our finances, and for many our dreams and goals if they did not fit in with the SCC vision - the vision of God as given to Keith Johnson, the shepherd of the local body that if we belonged to, should support fully. It was going to be worth it! United together, we'd accomplish much.We would be strong force to save the neighbors, the city, the province, the nation and yes, the world - for Jesus Christ! Together, in this local body, we were going to do great things for our Lord! We were hungry and excited! We were committed to the end. We had a cause. Yes, we saw people leave SCC through the years, but for the first ten years, we didn't really know many of them very well for it to really hurt or question their leaving. We'd put them in categories such as, 'too stubborn or set in their ways to line up to the Word', 'offended', or not strong enough (like we were) to handle the strong Word or they were intimidated by the moves of the Holy Spirit.... If there were issues with some people, often leadership would clear those rumors and lies up for us from the pulpit anyway, so we'd be fine to continue from there. We believed them. Why wouldn't we? They were men of God and men of character and integrity, just like we wanted to be and wanted our children to be.

Throughout the years there were many times I/we questioned the way things were done a SCC, even long ago. A few examples:
>Why did one of the larger, what seemed to be most effect avenues of outreach, the Young Adults program have to get shut down? Because it was getting too big and anything with two heads is a freak. Surely the leaders could have worked something out - it was for the purpose of reaching the lost!?
>Though we did want to blessing our leaders and special speakers it did seem to be in ridiculously excessive as the years went by, especially when we knew that the Academy staff were paid a pittance for their valuable contributions into our precious children's lives or that the air conditioning/heating system could use some repair, OR that some in our own body were short on funds for groceries, tuition, clothing, etc., never mind the missionaries we could have been supporting....
>Wouldn't it be okay to miss some church services? What about how I have disrespected my father when he has come to town for one of his rare spontaneous but untimely (because of a service) visits?

The 90s came and so did the height of an amazing roller coaster ride. This was it!! This was going to be the beginning of harvest time! A preparation time for us and our families to see a huge influx of souls saved and set free! Of lives being impacted and changed! Of healing and supernatural occurrences! 'It' was going to be big....really really big!! But then.... 'it' didn't happen. 'It' didn't come. What went wrong?! We needed to regroup and do something different, something more...(while at the time to be sure to never verbalize that 'it' didn't happen!)

Oh, how I didn't want to be weary in well doing! Oh, that my attitude would be right to receive all I needed to so I could correct whatever I was doing wrong so I could be what I was supposed to be! Oh, that I would bite my tongue with my questions and concerns as to not stop the flow of the Spirit. Oh, how I wanted to reap all the benefits of our corporate labors and see great things! Oh Lord, help me to pray enough, read enough and do all the right things so that we can see Your glory! To see the harvest come in - on waves or in wagons or whatever! Help me line up to Your Word!...

Anyone out there relate?

Gonna go - plan to continue another day....


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Post  Tracie on 09/03/10, 02:26 am

Well, it's been so... long for me, but I remember alot of what you were talking about, and KUDOS to you, you seem to still have that sincerity deep inside. I hope you keep it. Whoever you are, you are a sweet soul and they didn't deserve you or the goodness inside. I now see the humor in it, we were all so caught up in the hysteria. Nothing they claimed would occur ever did. My parents took out family there in 1981 and I left in 1999, in all honesty, I couldn't name one true miracle that happened, other than me somehow getting out of there without permanently losing my sanity. I truly hope you find what you're looking for.


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Post  Live and Learn on 09/03/10, 07:12 pm

I do not mean this self-righteously, but the system attracts people who are serious about their walk with God and it plays on the sincere hunger for God that people have. Many of the people who have attended (or still attend) are willing to sacrifice anything for God and His glory and, unfortunately, we believed what we were taught was the way to God - More services, more Devotions, more submission, more giving, more transparency, more serving...

The way it is taught, the more you serve the system - the man - the closer you will get to God. It is a twisted and paradoxical system that makes your sincere hunger for God to be the cause of separation from God. A system - a man - gets in the way.

So lets have teachers and mentors and counsellors, but not instead of God. Are we all not Priests? Isn't there now only one mediator between God and man - Jesus? Using someone's passionate desire to serve Christ to keep them from Jesus is wrong, and it is what happens at Saskatoon Christian Centre. Intentional or not I cannot say, but it does happen. The longer you attend SCC, the more dependent you get on them and the less you rely on God. That is not healthy. They call themselves "spiritual fathers;" what father encourages his children to increasingly be dependent on him? I can think of only one...God. And I guess that's why He said to call no man "father" (Matt. 23).

Live and Learn

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In the beginning...(for me at Christian Centre) Empty 4HimandHIs Keep Writing!

Post  emigration on 10/03/10, 08:50 am

What you are expressing is fantastic and a common experience to us all. We all wanted a genuine move of God to see His Hand and His Face. Keep writing!


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Post  Enlightened on 11/03/10, 12:12 pm

Yes, I do relate to what you are saying. I felt the same way; I so wanted to be used by God and to live for Him, and thought that if I could just pray enough, read enough, speak the Word enough, discipline my emotions/flesh, enough, than I would be qualified for the glory. I even remember asking my counsellor what I should do to become more like certain individuals(that shall remain nameless) that were always put in front of the congregation as being spiritually elite. She told me that if I tried hard and worked hard at it, I just might get to their level. But over time I realized that I couldn't seem to ever reach this elite status-I was always told the things that were wrong with me and that I needed to work on instead of encouragement to be who I was, and later I realized that my strengths were different than their's, and that those strengths would not ever be celebrated in that church. In fact, they were actually seen as weaknesses, and that's why I could never join the 'spiritually elite'...anyway, I am rambling! Looking forward to reading the rest of your story!


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Post  finally free on 17/03/10, 10:12 pm

I really wish that I could say that the church i attended was perfect in every good thing. There were a lot of times I questioned the teaching but i figured it was just me. I must not be able to understand or see what the message was, and that was when things were still pretty good. Now when I listen to the odd message online, which I sometimes do, I can't get through the first ten minutes before that same feeling of condemnation comes on me. I am very careful now who and what I listen to. I judge the message by peace and guilt. If it lifts Jesus and brings peace in my heart I receive it. If there is any guilt, shame or condemnation, I stop and throw it out. A friend told me that in every message there will always be some stones and to just spit them out. I can do that as long as the core of the message is good. Sometimes though there are so many stones to spit out that I run out of spit.

finally free

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