Easier said than done

Enlightened 23/02/10, 02:55 pm

One thing that I find annoying after leaving is how 'well-meaning' Christians will tell you to 'just move on and forgive,' and 'forgive and forget, and put the past behind you,' etc. For one, these people HAVE NO CLUE what they are talking about, as they have not been through this situation, and for another, this church life will ALWAYS be a part of my past-I can't change that, as much as I would like to. I could spend the rest of my life trying to avoid it, but the truth is, it is there. When my kids grow up, they're going to ask about my history, and this church is a part of my history. So to answer those people-no, I WON'T stop talking about it, because it is my life. Like any kind of abuse, it will take time and working through things to heal from the pain of this, and I hope one day to be able to think back to it all without the painful knot in my stomach and the sick feeling I get inside. SO yes, I am trying to forgive for MY sake, so that I can be free to live my life in joy and hope. But the unfortunate and sad thing is that, until spiritual abuse becomes as well-known as any other kind of abuse, others just will not be able to understand or even help, especially other Christians who think that they are helping by telling us to move on. So I believe that it is important to not be silent about this kind of thing, so that people who are trying to recover from it don't have to hide in shame because they 'can't seem to forgive and move on.' The more people who speak out, the more we will bring awareness and hopefully help to all those who suffered and still do suffer from this...

inthelight 23/02/10, 07:54 pm

It IS frustrating when everyone just wants you to move on. Would people be so pushy if you had to deal with sexual abuse? Physical abuse? When so many people keep telling you to just 'move on and forgive' it makes you want to stop talking about it and it getting delt with. When you clam up about the whole thing and put on a fake happy face - i think you end up rotting on the inside.
People PLEASE realize it is normal to have to talk about it and DEAL with it. And this does take time! There will come a point where you won't need to talk about it as much. At the same time I never want to get to the place where I just think that SCC has a few issues - and they are really an OK place. I am very angry about that place as I see them ruining people's lives and interferring with their relationship with God. I will always be against abusive churches, but I do try to not let myself get bitter. When you get bitter I think then it gets the best of you. Shocked

setfree 23/02/10, 11:50 pm

The early church was built on public forum. We get our word dialogue from the hebrew word used for church. Church for the Jews WAS public dialogue. The greeks introduced the lecture method to the church. Public dialogue is a healthy exercise for any community, especially the church community. How else can we walk in the light? When people are kept in the dark they can be manipulated and controlled. The truth must be told. Stories must be shared.

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Easier said than done

Easier said than done

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