Personality is never an excuse!

I remember countless times over the years hearing comments both privately from leadership and from the "sacred desk" that our personality is never an excuse for not doing what is right. If you are an introverted person, it is no excuse for not sharing your faith (ie cold-bold witnessing, knock and share, etc.) If you are a sensitive person, it is no excuse for taking offense from the degrading comments yelled from behind the "sacred desk". If you are a last-minute, unorganized person, it is no excuse for being late for church. The list goes on.

However, I also remember countless times hearing excuses made for certain leaders' behaviour. "It is just pastor's personality that may cause him to sometimes come accross a little bit rude, dominating, or demanding..." or "he is just a passionate person, and so he can sometimes seem like he is mad..." I heard these excuses made over and over for leaders' behaviour. I understand that these individuals are human just like everyone else. It is just unfortunate that the standard that is held before the people is not being applied to those "lonely at the top".

Another related issue that has bothered me for years comes to mind. At SCC, there always seemed to be this expectation, heavily encouraged directly by word and implied from the pulpit, that the congregation strive to be like the leaders. It was a heavy twist on Paul's "follow me as I follow Christ". What is unfortunate, is that it spilled over into practically every aspect of life, especially personality.

Men were encouraged to be domineering, conservative/republican/Bush-supporting, "lion" types who ran a tight ship at home. The respect level from their wife and children were often directly proportional with how they measured up to an unrealistic, idealistic, unattainable standard based on false perceptions of near-perfect leadership. At the same time, there was a similar race among the ladies to be the most like "the first lady" or at least like one of the elder's wives (who appeared to have their own race going). It came down to personality more than character. It was once again about performance. I witnessed the damage that this can do to relationships between huband and wife, and parents and THEIR kids, as well. I have seen the negative effects both within my family, and among close friends.

Can anyone out there who has been through this relate? Did this element of the culture affect you and/or your relationships?

Well put!!
I agree, countless times one would hear excuses made for certain leaders' behaviour. The Reverend's and elder's idiosyncrasies were excused. The congregation had to swallow the leaders doing something that is not usually allowed, rude, or showed their personality disorder. We cut them slack when screwed up a project or their "bold" personality hurt someone. But if you were in their cross hairs, look out, you would be chastised.